Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
