Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
