girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize