Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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