Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
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Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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