I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize