I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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