Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
