it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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