ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
