Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Everclear isn't food dammit
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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