Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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