just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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