She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
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I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
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Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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