Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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