evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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