What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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