i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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