I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Farmville is her only friend.
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and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
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What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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