I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize