I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
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For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
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I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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