WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He did a backflip because drugs
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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