I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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