she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
