he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
