I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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