I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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