We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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