We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
