i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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