What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
When are your genitals available?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
