Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.

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(404): View more from Georgia

There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

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(417): View more from Missouri

I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked

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(734): View more from Michigan

Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.

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(720): View more from Colorado

ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.

(1-720): View more from Colorado

Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.

(720): View more from Colorado

I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.

(720): View more from Colorado

I rest my case.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?

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(707): View more from California

Can't talk, ducks in the car

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(512): View more from Texas

Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.

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