I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
