Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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