Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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