If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
