Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
