I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
