erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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