What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
