HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
