peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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