I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
smell my finger.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
