it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
