he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
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