Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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