exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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