I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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