so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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