Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
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To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
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He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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