im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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