Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Welp...herpes.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
