Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
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There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize