508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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