wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
