Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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