Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
