I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
