My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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