first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
