you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How does it feel to date your dad?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
